Tag: 0 to 3 months old

A Positive Hospital Child Birth Story

A Positive Hospital Child Birth Story

This is an account of my positive and healthy birthing story of my daughter, CJ. This was a planned pregnancy, where her birth was at the hospital. Although my original (and adored) OBGYN Doctor was unavailable at the time of my birth, the hospital staff luckily took my Birthing Plan very seriously.

 

Perspective || This was originally written just a couple of days after her birth. I have since updated it to post here. Please note that her real name is hidden online for her own personal security, CJ is just a nickname. 

I was diagnosed with a short cervix, which means I was at risk of preterm labor. Other than that I had a pretty good pregnancy. I didn’t always think I’d be a mother, but when I met the love of my life. I knew I wanted a family with him. After 9 years together, and 3 years of marriage we got a serious case of baby fever and decided to make a baby.

 


Two Days of Early Labor 

On Thursday I had my doctor’s appointment, my best friend took me. I was dilated to 3, with 80% cervical thinning. Mind you, via hospital records I was considered overdue by now. My induction date would have been Monday, today (planned for exactly 7 days OD). But after the appointment, I started feeling my first ever contractions and went into hyper nesting mode. The following day, I went in because they were every hour since 2 pm after that appointment and had escalated to every ten minutes. I was being an anxious prego ginger. So we went in. I told them she wasn’t moving as much, but monitoring said I was fine. And that, she was great.

By Friday, early morning, (5 days OD) we were on the road back to beat traffic to arrive at the hospital around 5:30 am (is about 20 minutes drive no traffic, and over an hour in traffic). My contractions mild-medium at 5-6 mins apart.

I was checked right away and my cervix still at 3 cm, and CJ, a happy little bump was monitored and doing great so: They sent me on an hour walk.

Contractions increased to moderate for sure, 4 mins apart but I was released with no dilation changes after an hour.

I was frustrated for sure, not knowing what to expect next. My body not having any previous experiences to go off of. But we were released from the hospital to go home.

 


My poor mommy (flew in to be with me only 24 hours ago), Bowden and I decided to stay in the area and not risk driving home and getting stuck in the traffic (to or from). I napped for only the 4th hour of sleep in 2 nights now in the back of the van… Until I felt a little gush! But, contractions had slowed quite a bit. Bowden stopped for some maternity stones and we headed back to the hospital about 12 pm to check if my water broke…

Nope. Not my water. But while there being monitored, contractions crept up to 3 minutes apart and getting ever more intense as I grasp the two new maternity stones Bowden gave me… (Holy crap did they, help? Idk if help is the right word. But I feel like they dramatically increased the intensity of my contractions x5!)

But. They check and my cervix remains at 3, “Go home…”

 

At this point, I don’t even know when to come back because I was living the 511 rule now. I’ve never done this. Guys, my mom was so upset, omg. Bowden looked lost as I moaned through each heavy contraction.

We walked out of there, stopping every 4 mins. I stubbornly thought I could make it to the car but I get to the parking lot and said, “OKAY Bowden GO GET  the car PLEASE”, feeling defeated and in pain.

Am I just going to deliver this baby at home?!

 


But as I gasp my mom for support… My water breaks… 😱 Right there in the parking lot!

I’m in a skirt, and it’s running down my legs. (Bowden later realized and jokes, “Shes a lot kid from the start!” Oh jeez…) I call him, “Just fn kidding babe, my water just broke. See you inside.”

I make it back in within 5 minutes of my exiting the hospital with the attitude of,

“Wanna swab my leg right here? Or are you more concerned about mopping up your lobby because I’m still gushing here… Oh, good, I get a room! Thanks…”

 

 


My Progress Through Labor

We get the room and the same nurse says, “I had a feeling I’d be seeing you again!” I had to roll my eyes, totally irritated with her. (Honestly, she really was a great nurse once we had a room though.)

My contractions roll over me so intensely, my back labor quickly overtakes me. Fully excited to try the tub for relief, I get through all the blood and IV and baby monitors, to my tub.

It helped! But the heat and the pain sends me into violent puking, I admit to Bowden my desire for an epidural.

With no sleep in 48 hours, I lose my inner strength to continue the agony. A part of me wants so badly to experience this well. The violence of the sickness on an empty stomach and being unable to be in the tub (the heat and the pain set off bad nausea).

 

IF I had only gotten some sleep the last two days

IF I had only eaten some food the last two days

IF I had only practiced my inner breathing techniques more

 

Maybe just one of those things being done would have made the difference?

 


Photos tagged L.Y. Photos are by my photography business with my best friend, Yedda. She was there for the birth and part of my support team. My photographer and cheerleader! You can click on any tagged image to be taken to my photography website.

 

I decided with my husbands support to accept an epidural.

The epidural was placed and adjusted with ease. I’m not a fearful person and have no problems with needles, medical procedures, and I trust hospital staff to know their job. I had Bowden there to support me as I delt with two contractions during the placement. She thanked me for my patience and being so still, promising to be back to check on me.

And I’m glad I did this. A little sleep and relief did me very well for this journey. I call in Yedda for photos, my team of support and I, were all ready. It also calmed my team: I can’t imagine my own mother’s agony that day, watching and supporting me through the pain. And I know Bowden was mentally prepared, but it eased him too to see me at ease after watching me agonize for two days already was wearing on him.

 


Drop the Drip & Starting to Push

When I start to feel slight urges and pressure, hours in, I deny any further epidural drip. Against my awesome new nurse’s suggestions.

I wanted to feel and follow these natural urges. And I do quickly gain back some feeling with an hour as I begin back labor. I am now unable to sleep through them anymore but I’m ready. Ready to overcome this final pushing stage and determined to meet her… Finally!

Sara, my awesome labor coach and nurse, along with my loving family support system (my mom, my best friend and my husband) we spend two hours pushing. It gets brutally intense. But with the help of my team, and the love for my baby… I knew that this was the pain that I looked forward to in some strange, deep-rooted way.

The doctor is called (finally? Oh hi random lady OBGYN…). She was willing to let Bowden catch her and spent time earlier reading our Birthing Plan. We prepare for CJ’s arrival. Everyone discussing, “Will she be here February 9th or 10th?”…

As I think to myself, “Not yesterday, not tomorrow, now. I’m so close to holding her…”

 

The final pushes were grand. I don’t know what else to say, other than that. There are no words for her entrance that came sliding to Daddy Bowden in that moment of release.

Only a few short, sweet cries and my newborn CJ babe was placed upon me immediately! No one took her from me for an hour. Delivery of the placenta was easy only a few minutes later. She latched to me for the first time within 10 minutes! Our breastfeeding journey and all it’s complications has begun!

 

Soon my sister Jessie joined us too. Brandon held her skin to skin also, I adored his closeness and love of our new family like never before…’

And after an hour our family, waiting patiently right outside. (I had the room closest to the waiting area, I guess they also heard her short cry, and I don’t want to know what else, sorry Dad ha!) Anyways, they came in and she was passed so lovingly around them all. I loved witnessing this.

The joy in this moment was more intense than anything. Even the contractions. It was all worth it when you get to meet your tiny human, face to face, for the very first time.

 


I Know the Meaning of Perfect!

Needless to say, she’s as amazing as you can expect from the Bowdens and what true love can make… She is perfect.

My life is forever changed. I am made a new person, right along with my perfect new daughter. Our family is now complete and as we embark on a new life together, surrounded by more love and support than I could possibly have imagined…

We were released home on Sunday morning with flying colors and no complications.

Did I mention no stitches, no episiotomy, just a few micro tears… I raced past the other women in the halls the following morning when I went to the Breastfeeding Class. My recovery went great and I’m not bedridden. Well, other than breastfeeding every 2 hours. Not to brag, but Brandon and I kind of rocked this whole experience, like, even I am impressed by our strength.

I’ve read so many birthing stories that have gone so badly. I am so extremely thankful that my birthing story is warm, loving, and healthy. She’s healthy, I’m healthy. We’re overachievers her and I! And I am so, so very blessed.

 


After Birth Checkups

The health continues as she had no colic, no jaundice, no latch issues, no feeding issues, no allergies, no bad reactions to vaccines. I told you guys, she’s perfect.

Read more posts about CJ!

 

What I’ve Learned In My Baby’s First Three Months of Life

There are a few lessons that I’ve learned during my baby’s first three months of life by being a new mom. I’d like to share a few with you today. I hope to spark a little bit of encouragement to the pregnant new mama’s out there, as well as a little bit of remembrance to those who have been a Mama for a while now.

“How in the world…”

 

Before I had my baby I remembered thinking, “How am I going to have enough love and enough time, energy and motivation to keep a new little person happy?“ I’m not one to worry, but I remember feeling so anxious about this. Being a seriously social person, I knew I’d still want to maintain my friendships! How was I going to do it?

 

I was worried that everyone would forget me. That they would not find me as interesting when I have a cute bundle in my arms and occupying my time. Either they would be too interested in the Baby to pay me any attention at all. Or they would have no interest, thus no care, to get to know my baby or show interest in us at all anymore.

What I learned during my baby's first three months of life

The Moment of Instant Growth

 

 What I immediately felt after having my baby girl enter the world, is this feeling of overwhelming love. And not just for my baby! But everyone in my life, everyone I’ve ever known. And everyone I will ever meet.

 

Somewhere inside me all the love that I had already in my heart, exponentially multiplied. And I know now, that I will always have enough love for my new child, as well as my family and friends. New and old.

 

As for those who may see me differently. Well, they should! They will indeed be seeing me differently. After all, I’m a mother now!

 

Those who are truly my friends, those I want in my child’s life: Will continue to desire my time and attention. All I have to do is reciprocate, and find the time for them too. Even if I’m occupied with feeding, burping, or diaper changing. Those who aren’t used to it, will get used to it. But I found that most people have been around parents and babies. They expect you to care for your child and are pleased when you are doing a good job at attending your baby’s needs. As long as I’m attempting to give them the attention they want from me, even if it’s ruined by a cranky crying baby, they still greatly appreciate the effort that I put in to spend time with them in the first place.

 

Okay, so maybe that was two lessons. But we’ll call it one. Moving on.

Having the Patience to be a Parent

 

 Secondly… I thought that I was a patient person before having a child, but during my baby’s first three months with me, I’m realizing that I was just an averagely patient person. I’m challenging myself to be a professionally Patient Parent. To not get upset when she is. To not react out of irritation, frustration or anger. Instead, I am trying to be caring, attentive and detailed.

 

I’m not a detailed, organized person by nature. So I have to really try to put the effort in to be clean, tidy and focused. But every day that goes by, I’m succeeding a little more in these ways. As long as I’m putting in the effort for her, she’s thankful. I can tell because she is improving right along with me.

 

The lesson here is to not be overly sensitive about changing your ways. You will need to adapt to your child. And ultimately you can and you will.
And that, it’s not that hard.

 

I thought it would be. But as soon as she smiles at me, I know that every effort I put into her and keeping her happy is beyond worth every effort.

Becoming Baby’s Super Hero

 

 This next lesson goes out to the partner, in my case to my husband and my baby’s daddy. I tip my hat to those who are not as fortunate to have a partner I  parenting because I do not know what I would do without mine.

 

The men don’t go through a physical change like the woman does in having a baby. They develop some emotional changes and adapt to their changing wife. But it isn’t until they see that belly begin to grow that they really begin to be motivated and excited about the idea of being a dad/mom.

 

When CJ was (finally) born I noticed that he had a true interest and fascination with her. He’s such a natural baby charmer! Yet he prefers to follow my lead.

 

Having a 3-month-old is easier than having a 1-month-old because we have had enough time to become parents. My baby’s first three month’s of life have been a time I will forever look back on fondly. As hard as it was to adjust, it has been a magical experience.

 

I believe that the mother carrying the child begins to be a mother the moment she decides to keep the baby. Something happens, and you just accept the responsibility in that instant. Your body, mind, and spirit begin to shift into motherhood. Then the father becomes a father when he decides to stay with the mother and child. When he decides that his life is now dedicated to the baby and its safety health and happiness.

 

 And finally, the mom definitely has the upper hand when breastfeeding. Men don’t have boobs, can’t have boobs and can’t imitate having boobs. So being the mother has its true pros and cons. You get to be the Super Hero when Baby’s really upset or is hungry. But the downside is, it has to be you…

 

I may not want to be the only one, on those days that I truly could use a break, or a nap, or ever just lunch. But sometimes there’s no escaping your baby’s need for your boobs. And ultimately, the biggest and only comfort a newborn baby has is you.

 


You mean I have TWO super heroes?!”

 I think you become parents when the baby is born and you begin to work as a team. It takes so much time, attention, and ultimate effort, to raise a happy child! When I can’t figure her out, he can. When he can’t calm her down, I can. During our baby’s first three months together, we finally figured a few things out.

 

Where may partner saves me every day is helping me when I’m strapped down by the baby. Whether it’s a glass of water, handing me a baby item, or preparing baby’s bed. He’s adapted to asking what baby needs other than the obvious boob.

 

At first, he was really feeling helpless because I wanted to help but he felt like he couldn’t because all she needed was the boob! We realize now that after breastfeeding, there’s going to be something else she needs next. So finally, after having a baby for three months now, we’ve figured out ways for him to be a Baby Super Hero too! It just took a little time and effort to know what to ask for and when.

 

The lesson in this is that you can be equally amazing parents by working together. Mom is not the only one that can help keep the baby happy! Much of the time as long as he keeps me happy, I keep the baby happy. And yet, when the baby’s happy she’s usually happiest with me, or with him. (And now that I think about it, having a live-in recovering Grandpa has it’s perks too. As long as baby is happy he’s happy and healthy!) I’ve definitely learned to accept help with CJ when it’s offered.

 

I hope that you have as much fun as I have had to get to know your newborn. It’s such a pleasure to see her growing up so healthy and so happy. It brings me more love and more joy than anything else in the world! And I thought I loved my husband before… Psh.
my family after delivery
Lee, Brandon & CJ shortly after delivery. A new family is born. Click the image to read our birthing story!
Nearly a decade together, yet, our journey has just begun!
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What I learned during my baby's first three months of life

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