Why You Self Sabotage & How You Can Better Establish Your Identity

Our minds are plastic and we are prone to self-sabotage, and revenge against others we have judgments upon. Considering your Shadow Self is mostly that which you judge, we can see how we’re at battle within ourselves. This is extremely troublesome to move past since we have so many beliefs about what is wrong and right for ourselves and others. We tend to project these beliefs onto others in the form of voiced psychological opinions, repressed emotions, or forgotten spiritual beliefs. Whether we are correct about what we perceive about others, without a reason to protect yourself or others from true harm, the best thing we can do is better ourselves and start loving other people unconditionally. How can we stop judging ourselves?

Sometime’s it can be hard to let others make their own mistakes. I have some advice for when you know someone who’s making “bad life choices” here.

Today is Waxing Crescent Moon at about 50% illumination and a good time for Assessment of your Life Path and Purpose. We may feel more in tune with decisions we have to make and analyzing our options. I like to think of all the different life choices as bubbles and then I let them float around within until I know which “bubble” I would prefer to take action to move towards. (I call this my Bubble Theory for Thinking, but I’ve yet to fully describe it in writing.)


Today I want to talk about Sabotage and how we can release ourselves from being bound and kept locked up within our own minds, bodies, and fragmented shadow self.

SABOTAGE = deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct (something), especially for political or military advantage.



Why Do I Self Sabotage My Creations?

Deliberately taking action consciously to hold yourself back is an act of self-sabotage by definition. Holding back information, truth, or feelings in an attempt to control yourself from doing or saying something wrong. In many ways, we destroy our own inner creations out of fear of what the outcome will be. Afraid of failure, being rejected, or simply being ‘wrong’ in some way.

These deeper issues almost always are created and manifested within the conscious psyche because of past life trauma, childhood (inner child) fears or resentments, and relationships bounds or betrayals. All of these are deeply seeded and can be interwoven throughout your blueprint within the Root Chakra and Base seeds of Self. We know that the Root Chakra has to do with survival, the will to live, and the drive to procreate. We can then assume that issues with self-sabotage are blocks within this Root Chakra.

The natural world is governed by geometry and patterns, this is why we can rely on science, mathematics, and measurements to learn and decide facts. The order to chaos is simply divine by design. We operate dependant upon the patterns we ourselves create within our own makeup of mind and body awareness. Through the process of learning, we develop habits and reactions that run automatically and subconsciously.

The trouble is that we are often using the wrong patterns continuously expecting each person, place, and moment to be ‘the same as last time’. We project this into our present moments and judge the event instantly. Unless we consciously think about the individual experiences at the moment, we will go into autopilot without much thought to what our immediate reactions will actually cause. Much of the time we are right! As we receive the same outcome as expected. By being the Cause for repeated patterns, you are also the Effect of your own manifestations. We perceive multiple experiences with people in the same way because of how we perceive it from start to finish.

This is troublesome in relationships, and we often Attract the exact energy of people we did last time, making the repeated pattern even more available.

This sucks, right? I constantly feel for the men who come to me in strain, “Why do I always attract the same emotional troubles in women that I can’t seem to help them with? Why am I incapable?”

His problem is that women are not sensitive enough to men’s logical mind and feelings of insecurity from the past.

And in women, it is most commonly a question of, “How do I make them comfortable enough to open up to me?” We attract what we don’t want more often than what we do want simply because we do the same things in the same mannerisms without much change, expecting different results for the same kinds of people.

Her problem is that she’s oversensitive to the point of being uncomfortable and out of touch with her emotions.


The truth is that no one person is the same, and we must stop thinking that they are. Learn to live without expectations and “be this do this” outcomes. If we can understand that everyone is different than we immediately have a better chance of experiencing something new and exciting with each and every person we ever meet in that moment. Knowing very little about a person is beneficial because you can experience the full complexity of a person as a new experience and learn a lot more than going into a relationship with expectations.

Remember this: You Never Step Into the Same River Twice. 


Start By Better Understanding Yourself & Your Patterns

What are your relationship patterns? Do you run? Do you chase? Do you stay too long? Do you change yourself for your partner? Do you mimic or clone? Do you obsess and cling?


You can learn a lot by assessing the following: The first time it happened. The first and last moments of all romantic or intimate relationships you’ve had. Identifying triggers within the most memorable moments of these traits arising and growing. What protection mechanics you know you have.

Understand that some self-made protection programs are useful! But they should be made consciously and with thought to every new situation. Using your process and practice it, as if it was a skill instead of a fear-based habit or pattern. Indicating your ability to exercise self-love and confidence instead of self-sabotage and fight/flight responses of stress.

The power of change is made manifest by consciously choosing new outcomes based on your idea of what your ideal life is in fulfillment of your true self. Following your heart and listening to your mind is a constant challenge to come back to the center of your soul’s real mission. Keeping yourself from your deserved paths will continue to repeat until you stop sabotaging your own life, and others. The more you get in the way of other’s desires, the more you waste your effort on your own. In effect, this will cause you more karmic tailspins in your own path later on and more often, unless you realize… What you are causing in your own life to happen over and over.

There are a lot of things that can help with realizing your karmic cycles, anticipated planetary returns, and becoming aware of your desires, intuition, and Higher Self.


Emotionally Release Feelings of “Sabotage”

To neutralize the emotions of Sabotage is to Re-Establish.

Straight from Releasing Emotional Patterns with Essential Oils by Carol Mein, we can how this is a nice summary of the above. Re-establishing yourself and finding your inner direction will provide you the emotional path out.

Saying out loud, “I release all old patterns and resentments” as a mantra or mindful meditation.

Use Rosemary Essential Oil to help clear the emotional patterns of Sabotage and with good intention catalyst to Establishment. Placing a dab of Rosemary on the alarm point called “Locus Ceruleus” may help focus the healing even more directly, affecting the energetic meridians at this point.


Using a meditative soundtrack between 417-432 Hertz will help to resolve negative feelings, subconscious blocks, and sabotaging energy programs. This is one of my favorite Youtube videos that I feel sets the tone for this emotional release really well. Setting the scene for true healing and transformative states of mind and soul energetically.

Click here for a guided meditation (in a new window) for releasing Self Sabotage by Unlock Your Life (Youtube Channel)


Spiritual Healing Guidance

These are ‘core’ issues related to the Root Chakra. You can definitely take hints from my posts about Changing Your Timelines, Characters, and Inner Child, and The Red Dirt Road. The Root Chakra is ruled by the planet Saturn, which is about the Archetype of the Rule, Authority, and Responsibility. Bringing Order to Chaos and the master of knowing what sacrifices must be made to achieve success. You might refer to your Natal Chart to find where Saturn is, which house these inner sabotaging moments might be related to for you. We can address this with a Universal Life Reading if you desire (click here for a personal inquiry!).

Archangel Cassiel is connected to Saturn. Myths about Nephthys and Horus may be insightful for you to read as well. Reading related stories, myths, and philosophy can help you to understand your psychological makeup and loosen your DNA to activate new cellular memories. This will provide you the physical links to spiritual awareness to what you may be blind to fully understanding emotionally. Especially if you ‘don’t know why’ you are sabotaging yourself and others.

  • You can meditate, use aromas and essential oils together to help these feelings be cleansed.
  • Using positive affirmations and mantras will help you hold the awareness of your healing.
  • Understand that much of this is mental-spiritual healing and will require an open connection to your emotions and physical conditions as symptoms or triggers to the deeper issues.
  • You can open your communication with yourself by asking questions.
  • Try asking yourself in meditation, call to your Spirit Guides, or pray and speak with your God, Source, or All That Is, I Am.
  • Ask questions before meditations or before going to sleep at night. Both will reveal visions, statements, or symbols.
  • Writing down dreams or visions will give you insight into what the reason for sabotage really is.
  • Allowing your subconscious to tell you the answers doesn’t always mean it is easy to change.
  • As patterns of behavior are revealed, you may need to consider further forgiveness of yourself and others to neutralize the blocks completely.

Personally I have dealt with this in my own writing most of my life. I have written millions of words that I’ve never shared with anyone. I’ve lost and deleted most of them. This is only because of my own fear of worthless effort never be enough for the world. In this way, I hope you can appreciate what you can accomplish if you got out of your own way. You wouldn’t be here reading this if I hadn’t have worked through these deep blocks myself. I wish you luck, as you find your way through your own life. I believe in you!




Post Sources

The Modulatory Effect of Acupuncture on the Activity of Locus Coeruleus Neuronal Cells: A Review | https://www.hindawi.com/journals/ecam/2017/9785345/

Locus coeruleus integrity preserves memory performance across the adult life span | https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/332098v3.full

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash


Recommended Affiliates, Books, and Sources

Releasing Emotional Patterns With Essential Oils (Book) by Carolyn Mein 
Are you bogged down by your emotions? Do you feel trapped in emotional ruts? Are you frustrated trying to rationalize your way around your emotions? Happily, the process to clear stagnant emotional blocks and patterns is easy! Emotions are stored at a cellular level in specific organs within the body. They must be cleared at this level in order to be released. Essential oils access these stuck emotions at their deepest level, by accessing the limbic portion of the brain, which is the seat of emotions. This is not a new technique – it was employed by the ancient Egyptians. “Releasing Patterns With Essential Oils” is a practical, step-by-step guide providing a natural remedy for emotional cleansing.



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What are your relationship patterns? Do you run? Do you chase? Do you stay too long?
Do you change yourself for your partner? Do you mimic or clone? Do you obsess and cling?