The Only Thing Keeping Me From Living My Life With Purpose Is Standing Still!

I have come to a point in my life where I need to start revealing more on the topic of Loving Life With Purpose. This is for you as much as it is for me, so let’s get started. Because uncovering a topic such as this does not come lightly. It hits deep, deep within and I want to make sure we start off these posts in the right way.

I mentioned in my first Dear Blog Buddy letter to Vicky (of CLAS, a mindful lifestyle blogger) earlier this week that I believe in terms such as Intention, Law of Attraction, the Power of Belief.

If you were to look closer at my social media and especially my personal Pinterest Profile, than maybe you’ve noticed my interests are much more than being a parent, to being a wife, or even a blogger.

I first realized the importance of these terms because of their potential to give my life purpose. When I realized what they mean to me when I started living as a traveling nomad or “street kid” rather, on the roads of the USA West Coast for a few years. I ripped myself away from my homes, family, friends, and comforts. In these years I stripped myself of everything that I “thought that I knew”, in an attempt to find myself.

The “good” news is, I truly did find myself.


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Reads: When I find my mind naked, my body clean, my environment at peace. Anywhere that I am, I feel at home. 

I realized that right now, I was human.

It was these simple realizations that brought me later to a deeper meaning to what I learned. I know now that I was finding out for myself, the power of intention, or the curse of belief. And I challenged my perceptions of religion, time, and eventually consciousness. Pushing boundaries I had built myself with the help of my influential voices. What I did during these years, was knock the barriers down enough that I could see every bit of myself from behind any wall. But I know the remains of these walls, these protective memories are boundaries in which I can never bury. Like Scars that remain on my Heart.

Now is where I admit the struggles that I have yet to address my life, and myself. I may have become too comfortable.

In more recent years, (let me be honest)…

Since I felt no need to impress, distanced from caring what others think. I lost the motivation to represent myself well in the world. I’ve lived comfortably in my jeans and PJs. I have not worn makeup in over 5 years now. I have kept my dreadlocks in since my travels, (with no intention of changing this, just FYI. I love dreadlocks).

Additionally, I’ve never been an organized, tidy, clean person. I was that kid that you had to BEG for WEEKS to clean their room, and eventually, I’d tuck it all away far enough under my bed they didn’t want to argue with me anymore and could see my floor. I must admit, I do have a stubborn side.

This stubbornness is a problem for me. What’s most irritating about this is that I’m MOST stubborn within myself, and my own inner relationship with myself can be the struggle that keeps me from success.

One part of me may want that, the other insists on something else. And the fight within begins. I sit down, and I stay there in this indecisive world of thought much of the time.

This my friends, is my biggest fault of all. Standing still. 

And one last bit – about me feeling at home anywhere I am…? That sounds good, so mindful and aware and enlightened of me. But let me reveal this truth: I have not attached myself to a location in many years now. The house I just moved from and spent four years living in is very clear evidence of my lack of attention, awareness, and care for myself and my environment around me. This must change, and it already has very much…

As much as I want to get organized. As much as I want to love living my life. I sit too still to enjoy it. I must be more proactive. Our reality together depends on it. As I believe if you are reading this, then I most definitely will serve a purpose in your life too… 

Hint: I Forgave Myself – And I started to heal…