I Cracked Open & Poured It Out

Dear Blog Buddy,

I’m so happy to have you to write to right now because it’s been a wild week and I really do need to get it out here on the blog too. I had a really emotional end of my week last week. I’ll be honest, as usual because in my last letter, I admitted my struggle to find balance. And as the week progressed, all the worry and fear came to life. As I wrote on my blog about thinking positively my body came barreling through my conscious mind and things crumbled beneath me as I barely stood. Weak from all that I was attempting to carry with me.

I think back to days of travel and look around, overwhelmed by all my things. To think I used to live out of a backpack, and now we have so much stuff! So much has been lost because of it too…

All my lost time with my husband, due to our new amazing child. Lost in the blogging community and all the many hours I have put into it so far. It’s all just been too much, and my body was weak. As I dove back into my spiritual side, I quickly began to break my emotional barriers. On thursday I had gone to the Chiropractor, and it felt great! But it must have shook me up because I was extremely emotional on Friday and by Saturday (Bowden worked all day and I didn’t hear from him until 6pm!) I was a mess. Sunday, we spent all day trying to put me back together again, emotionally drained and broken to the core.

I know that all this has happened for a really strong reason. As my week began I knew I had to take better care of myself and truly, find the balance in my life. It starts with my happiness, and Bowden is right. I need to find the roots to my happiness, my home is with him. And our daughter, my beautiful, brilliant girl needs him just as much as she needs me. And I am not whole without him, and him without me. We must come together again and thank god he is who he is and wants all this to change as well!

So I’ve begun to structure my daily routine, not around chores and tasks. But around what will make me happy and feel accomplished. Things that will give me energy, so that I can accomplish a few things that will progress me through my true journey of life. I have embarked on a quest to make goals, set priorities, and get to action!

And this time Vicky, I don’t just mean Blogging. I mean life! I mean being mindful about myself, my relationships, my work, and my roles to other people.

Okay, so you’re all caught up.

Here are some of the new things that have made a big difference to my life recently:

  • Folding Mindfully (oh, yea, still going strong on this!)
  • I don’t set times/days to “clean the house”, I just consistently tidy as I go now, never having to do any large chore at any specific time or day. Things are just always kept up now 🙂
  • Drinking water & in the morning with a quick stretch before anything else. (Before butt changes, coffee or smokes even, and that for me is a big deal!)

The app Fabulous has made these new changes in my life fun and enjoyable!

Which I will talk about next week:

And the last thing that really was a huge turn around for me is clearing out my phone! I’ll do a whole post on it soon but basically, I narrowed down my app list, put everything in folders and rearranged my screens to make me feel better, more tidy and helpful and motivated. Now I feel like I can tackle tidying my online/computer/storage mess of an alternative life.

I’m excited for the shift in the stars in about two weeks though. I’m about over this overwhelming feeling of doom that has swept us over the last few months. (I’ve been getting back into Astrology and woohoo is it a crazy ride of realization that we’re all so connected!)

Sorry I missed last week. I know you understand, thanks for your encouraging words my bloggy friend!