I’m Trying to Balance My Life

Dear Blog Buddy,

This week has been such a roller coaster for this mama. As I desperately try and fail to find a balance between motherhood, time with my husband, and my own self care. Oh, and work! Meaning, the Blog Buddy Program.

Early this Week I focused more inward, and began a few new books. Some of which I picked up last weekend when Bowden and I had our (long awaited) weekend away.

I have picked up (again, with renewed motivation to finish it this time). As well as Marie Kondo’s book about Tidying Up!

Additionally I have awoken my spiritual side again as my special needs sister has asked me some deep questions recently. Because of her disability hindering her ability to understand or to learn new things easily. I have put much thought into how I can guide her to some answers. This has made a new appearance in my blog posts about the Law of Attraction.

The trouble is at the end of the week, with baby CJ struggling to nap during the day. It’s been extremely stressful to find time to also work on BBP, my own blog.

And the husband! Who is so supportive. But we haven’t been able to spend any one on one time since last weekend. Finally, tomorrow we will have a day and night together.

Granted we watch CJ, tidy the house, and tackle bills.

The struggle for balance and stability is real my friend.

You asked me just now, how I feel about my own blog these days. Probably now that I have the Vlog and something inspiring to write about. Well, I just feel like it means more to me at the moment over all. I’m not so “focused” on growth, I’m focused on the purpose of the blog and my writing. And that feels good. I just wish I had more “time” to dedicate to it.

Have you seen the new Netflix film “HEAL” yet? Because wow, it’s so unforgiving how much we have control of our lives so much that we lose all control to fears, and subconscious holds on our memories.

Right after I finished watching the film today, I couldn’t decide what to do. So I decided to fold the clothes I have been neglecting for two days. And I did it rather mindfully, thinking about what I had learned but open to the new ideas that may come to the surface of my consciousness. And a few of them, I think I’ll hold onto!

One being my perception of the word perfection.

And the other, my perception of clutter.

I realized by folding my clothes at first, that I didn’t really want to be doing it. So I addressed this and restarted my folding once or twice. And finally, when I came back a third time I was ready to be more mindful about the process, and I wanted to fold the clothes. I wanted them to be tidy! – This is evolved into a whole post by itself so you can finish reading that here: Folding to Perfection.

And then that lead to be later remember hearing someone saying that “A cluttered home is evidence of a cluttered mind space.” And I didn’t like hearing that! As the memory renewed itself, I know how I feel about clutter on the outside, I haven’t much cared for it. I ignore it.

As I thought about this again, I realized that I also ignore the clutter in my mind. Just like I ignored this evident truth about myself. I have been living in clutter, in my environment and in my mind. And if I believe the science within this movie HEAL, then I definitely have clutter in my body too!

All of this week has been very impactful to me. And having a blog to write to, is also feels very impactful to me and others. Which feels good, that’s what I want.  Right?

It’s evident to me that I need to de-clutter. Not just my house. Not just my mind. But my body too!

Thank you for being there for me through all these areas of my life. I hope you too are being inspired and motivated to progress as a human. In all the various roles you must have to balance. How are you getting on my dear friend?

Written With Love by Lee Bowden - signiture for LovingLifeWithLee.com

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