I’m going to take a shot here and admit what I truly think is a key factor to being in a happy, long-term relationship with any partner. Put simply, I believe that love is a choice and that you must consciously choose to remain in love.
That’s right, you read correctly.
You choose to remain in love, each and every day.
There’s something to be said about your brain when you are in love.
When you are in love with someone, you produce lovely peptides that grant you chemical boosts of love hormones and other chemical reactions. You also may experience pleasant emotions by being near or with your partner. If you’re physically “in love” (aka addicted) to your partner, then you will believe instinctually that you are in love. This may sound silly, but do you really believe that you’re in love?
If you believe that you are in love emotionally, physically and mentally then maybe you can understand that this was a choice after all. You chose to allow yourself to fall in love with someone. There’s a level of the surrender of Will to being in love, and unknown and uncontrolled factor to this falling into love with someone. Put simply, there are people you cannot help but love.
That “I like him/her” feeling you got right from the start, your attraction to them physically and all that jazz. Yes, that’s all stuff you can’t help. But at some point you chose to continue to like them, to advance on your level of attraction with them and to dance with them to that jazz. If you ask me, the chemistry between beings does not change over time. This is a subconscious physical effect that people of the right magnetism has on you. But what you can do is consciously choose how you react to them.
So they key here is to realize that, keeping a relationship fresh takes conscious effort. A continuous choice of surrendering your will to the person you commit your love to. You do have to keep choosing to remain in love.
It sounds crazy like it’s a chore to stay in a state of love but honestly, it is… You must consciously continue to choose love.